I used to be a big flaker. now I'm just flake-ish sometimes. what helped was for me to say to (close) friends something like, "hey! sometimes I flake. it's not personal and it's not intentional." I found that most of those friends understood it better and stopped thinking that I was playing games. then that took away the pressure and guilt I was feeling. and then that helped me to stop flaking as often.

Recently I've gotten close with someone who's a bigger flake than I ever was. She asked me once why I thought she didn't flake on me as often as she flaked on everyone else. do you know the answer?