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Old Dec 24, 2013, 08:27 AM
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technigal technigal is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wingnut13 View Post
First I want to say hi to everyone here,HI. I started seeing a therapist a month ago and she has diagnosed me with BPD and I am freaking out. I always knew there was something wrong with me but refused to seek professional help. But recently I started dating again after my wife died 2 years ago. And the few attempts at a relationship have all failed. The last attempt ended in complete disaster and I wanted to end it all. My friend talked me into finally seeing a therapist and I am glad I did. But at the same time I am terrified. She wants me to start DBT soon. Worried about that cause of the group part of the therapy. Also worried I will get overwhelmed by the intense therapy and fail. Have not told anyone in my family yet,worried what they will think of me. Wondering if anyone here has told their family and if you have how did it go? Also wondering if I will ever be able to have a relationship again. My marriage was like a roller coaster. My wife put up with a lot of stuff from me and she never knew why I am the way I am. Now I feel guilty about that cause if I had sought help years ago then maybe it would've helped her understand me.
I am having a hard time dealing with all these emotions.
First off, welcome to the group. I hate that there is a need for such a group but the support I have received has been awesome.

Second, I am sorry for your wife's death. That must be very hard to deal with.

And lastly, BPD can be treated, you can learn better ways to cope with your emotions. It is not easy but it can be done. I would read all you can about BPD and DBT (a few good books are "I Hate You, Don't Leave", "BPD for Dummies", "Stop Walking on Eggshells", "DBT Skills Workbook"). A good website for DBT is DBT Self Help. There is a lot of negative stuff about BPD on the web, try and stay away from it. My husband went on a search for partners and found everything saying divorce now, luckily for me he does not agree. Group therapy can be overwhelming at first but you will find that the support you get from group can be really helpful.
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Mags

Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
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Wingnut13
Thanks for this!
Truth in Ruin, Wingnut13