Hello friends,
I hope you all remember me. I was away, studying, taking stock of all those things happening to me, and analyzing everything.
I have been meditating continuously for 2 months, and i guess it has an effect on me now.
Now i am gonna talk about some problems i have been suffering these days.
I have had a complex life, somewhat eccentric which would not be comprehended by most of the people. Growing in a house situated in a small hill, without any friends, bad painful childhood, not much educated relatives (still struggling in between the modernity and antiquity), property disputes, wranglings, dad's alcoholic abuses, oh god..it would seem like a poignant movie story
Anyway i would like to move away from here, not because i hate this place( In fact i love it, its so strange and somehow forms a part in me) but if i stay there again i fear i would go crazy. I don't know what will happen next but i have belief in me and my almighty.
In my family there is one guy, my paternal uncle, who always treats me very badly. Its so disgusting. For example whenever we would be having some family gathering, he wouldn't even look at me or speak to me. If i did speak, eh would say some stinging word, like (indirectly) 'are you still a good for nothing still?' This man is 40 years senior than me but he still behaves like this.His son and i grew up together but he also hates me. (It is a long story which started in our childhood's). This stuff makes me sad and in my teen years i vehemently avoided this guy, about which he made such a fuss back then. He hates our entire family, even my disabled brother.
I know life is just a bubble and it is made for loving each other.But in my case i never had anything. These were the people i had. At the sometime it makes me sad that i would also have made some mistakes which made them act like that. But i cannot tell them now, because they would abuse me and humiliate me. So i agree, sadly , that sometimes i have been vengeful.
I know it would be difficult for anybody to answer a stranger's question, but i would like to ask you what would you have done in these types of situations? The same as me? So am i justifiable for my acts?
Have a nice day: