Thank you all so much. I'm so glad I found this forum because it really helps me to have people who understand and are going through the same things that I am.

I have been diagnosed with both BPD and Bipolar II, so you can imagine that my emotions are up and down by the hour.

I just hate the feeling of being worthless, ugly, fat, guilty, etc. When I walk into a room, I hold my head down because I automatically think I'm the ugliest one in the room. If I'm out and people are laughing, I'll assume they are making fun of me. Same thing if people I don't know look at me - I feel they are judging me and I'll be rude. Also, if someone compliments me - I then make a joke about myself b/c compliments freak me out. My T says I need to stop "Mindreading".. Easier said than done.

Truth is, I'll probably drink myself into oblivion tonight to get through family time.