but they aren't I dont know whats wrong with me. I have been feeling suprisingly better this past week and thought that maybe, just MAYBE i might be getting better. But as it seems, i'm not. It just kind of came back all of a sudden and i found myself trying to break apart my razor so i could get at the blades ... fortunately i ended up getting more upset when i couldn't so i didn't do any damage physically.

Is it possible that me being happy made me more depressed? I had such a good night last night, my section all went skating (i haven't skated in such a long time for me - former hockey player ) so that was good, and i'd been taking more "me" time playing the piano ... but then all of a sudden its almost as though i feel guilty for feeling that way? I dont make any sense ...

I have my first appointment with my new T on Thursday and am really anxious about that, so maybe i'm just getting the better part of myslef

I'm sorry ... im ranting, i'll stop now.