What he is doing to you is a form of control ...

-Manipulation
-Brainwashing
-Gas Lighting

All of these are emotional abuse, and it's already escalated into physical abuse, so it's only going to get worse from this point forward. Information on each of these are readily available online and I suggest you Google them sooner than later.

Yes, your abuser can have outsiders thinking he is a good guy ... Your abuser can also have you so messed up inside your own head that you no longer trust the truth your own mind is trying to tell you.

You say you don't want to be alone ... Trust me, there are worse things than being alone ... Run as far (and as fast) as you can from this man before he drives you insane (emotional abuse), puts you in the hospital (physical abuse), or kills you (dead).

If you don't have friends and family you can turn to, then find a women's shelter or domestic violence center who can help you escape before it's too late.