Hi,
I am new to this group and am having a hard time. I can't talk to anyone in my family because they don't understand. I guess a little background may help.
I was diagnosed with depression when I was a teenager, didn't get the bipolar diagnosis until about 5 years ago. I am now 49.
Have a son who is 26. Good parents, a brother and a sister, blah blah blah.
Not sure what my question is other than I need help. I know it's Christmas Eve and I am supposed to be happy. Supposed to be going to my sister's house for xmas eve dinner. This happens every year. I don't want to go. I don't want to be around happy, successful people when I am miserable and hate my life. It just makes it worse. My brother and my sister are adopted (at birth) and are very successful in their careers and their family lives. Me, not so much. I just feel like a failure in every way. And I feel guilty for feeling like this. I feel like I'm over here having a pity party for myself and don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like this, but I can't seem to shake it. I have been taking medications for at least 20 years, am now on Prozac, Zyprexa, Ambien for sleep, Vyvanse for ADD and a thyroid medication. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
Any advice would be helpful....thanks....