I had the chance of meeting with my T on xmas day because she doesn't celebrate it. I would happily have done it co i hate xmas, every year is made incredibly painful and upsetting by my divorced parents. But me and my husband are trying really hard to create new memories just the two of us and every year we try so hard to not let anyone get in the way of us just spending the day together with no drama.But it never happens. This year is no different. And now i wish i'd just kept my appointment to see her tomorrow, cos frankly i'm never going to have a happy xmas.

I've spent the day in tears over my dad's behaviour and this evening listening to my drunk mother rant about my dad, about how everything affects her, about how she can't understand my illness cos "i look so well" and how she can't understand why i'm so fat cos i don't eat that much, she know it's the illness but it's just hard to accept and she's worried sick tht one day my husband might leave me because i'm a burden because of my illness.

I see my T on Friday but instead of talking about the crisis i had last week my precious time will now be taken up talking about this crap.

I am so done.