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I'm sorry. I was married for 7 1/2 years and went through some similar things... made some of the same mistakes. My husband left in March... and I don't have a lot of encouragement, other than to say that I sympathize with what you're going through and you're not alone.
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FacingDemons 
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.
I know, right now, you can't tell,
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me."
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