Oh, how I relate to your post. I was diagnosed officially today, though I was previously diagnosed bipolar. My husband of 7 1/2 years left me in March, after I did years of terrible things. He put up with so much... I just wish I known what was really going on with my head... maybe things could have been different.
I'm in a relationship now, and things have been very rocky, but I'm hopeful that new therapy and possibly new meds might be able to stabilize me. My doctor has also recommended DBT, starting as soon as possible.

I sent an e-mail to a few members of my family (mom, grandmother, aunt, and my ex husband, as we still talk frequently mostly due to the children). I explained the diagnosis, and the treatment, etc... I haven't gotten a reply from anyone.

My current boyfriend (of almost 6 months) reacted really well... much better than I expected. He said, "it doesn't change who you are. You are the same person you were before you went into that doctor's office, you just have a different label."

I can't really offer you advice, since I'm just starting on the road to figure things out myself... but I can offer you the knowledge that you're not the only one. I hope that's something.