So, I have been thinking a lot about old pdoc lately. I was doing really good with limiting the amount of time I allowed myself to think about him. It seems the closer I get to sending him the letter asking him to be my pdoc again the more I dwell on him, the possible answers and scenarios to follow. I know it's an anxiety thing. Those feelings for him are creeping back in too which is slightly annoying and troublesome. This is probably happening less than I feel because I spend lots of time practicing DBT and staying busy. There's still a lot of guilt on my end so it's hard to see much positive outcomes in asking him but I have to ask or the "what ifs" will terrorize me. Anyway, I wish I could spend 1 day totally free of thoughts of him, but that's not likely.

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