You are still having a hard time, getting angry with him, over this? How much, of a factor, do you, personally 'blame' your age and see him, as forgivable for being an older man?

Oooohhh, or, I am wondering, since you mention being with a therapist...don't want to bend your mind, too much, nor undo any therapy with what I am about to ask, I'm just a patient helping another patient on this PC board...

In learning to work through your own stuff, learning personal responsibility and how it's not cool to 'blame' others for our stuff...are you taking that perspective on here, with your own ex? I ask, because you've mentioned not wanting to 'blame him' on a couple of occasions. Is your pendulum swinging too far in the other direction, where the things you are trying to control about your own emotions, you aren't dishing out accountability to others for their own poor behaviors?

Love, I get you choose to be loving towards this man. I get love. I get being in love. However, just because we love someone, doesn't mean that we 'never' get angry with them, nor do we not hold them accountable for their actions. To hold someone accountable is to show love!