Oh, how glad I am that it's over. Christmas Mass. It was so hard to be there with all those people & hugs & best wishes & all. It's not fair really, is it? Why is everything so hard? I just want to hide, hide, hide. I was invited to my cousin's for dinner on Christmas Day, but I couldn't go. I'm still a passel of raw nerves from yesterday. And I'm nauseated, of course. I force myself to eat, but still don't eat enough and am under-weight and faint and dizzy. But I can't help it. I'm not "doing this on purpose". I don't know what to do. But I do send to everyone.