I feel the same way all the time and it really sucks. Sorry you had to go through such emotional abuse,especially starting at an early age. I was emotionally and sexually abused throughout my childhood. The emotional abuse came from my father and all my so called friends. I am adopted and I was made to feel that I was not his true son. I don't think he did it intentionally but thats the way I felt. And once my friends found out I was adopted they never missed the chance to make fun of me. Saying things like "haha,your mom didn't love you,thats why she gave you up" or "you were so ugly your mama threw you away". And many other mean things. That lasted all the way through high school.
The sexual abuse was done to me by a friends uncle. And every time it happened there were people in the house but they didn't know what was happening. At least I don't think they knew. At the time I remember thinking "somebody please help me",but nobody ever did. It happened over and over again. I can still see his face and hear him saying "If you tell anybody I will kill you". Still have nightmares about it and i have never told my family that it happened.
So,ya I know where you are coming from. I feel the same way.