Well,there we all were sitting around the table at Christmas dinner. My 2 boys and 2 grandkids and my adoptive family. Everybody eating and talking and there I sat staring at my food. I was screaming inside my head "HELP ME". But instead I put on a front like nothing is wrong. Struggling to think of something to add to the conversation at the same time I just wanna find a place to hide. Just feel so out of place. Maybe I should start taking the meds my doc prescribed(elavil 50mg). But I hate taking pills. But what do I hate more,the pills or feeling so depressed?