I'm sorry old life... I know this is a very difficult time for you! Prior to her asking for a separation and the whole silent treatment for 3 months how was your marriage before that did you see any red flags? You say that she's been hanging around a lesbian friend ... is spending a lot of time with her instinctively your gut is telling you that something's up? Anytime my gut has instinctively told me something... it usually is something! I had a feeling a deep gut feeling that my soon to be ex husband was having some kind of emotional affair the last year we were together and I kept asking and he made me feel like I was crazy... I asked him if he was happy he would reply yes and come to find out one day he just left poof... no word and approximately a year after he left I was at his home doing the push-pull with him not wanting a divorce... I would go over and we would spend a day or two together and then I would try to discuss working on things and he would nod like in agreement until he'd get what he wanted from me and then he'd be gone again would not hear from him for months. Anyways, that one time I was there he was in the shower and I heard his phone go off I thought maybe it was his son texting him back as we were waiting for a response from him! I looked at the text message usually I would never go through his phone however it said "hey toot" I can't make it to the gym tomorrow but I promise you I'll make it up to you I immediately started shaking as I was reading through all the text messages between the two of them it definitely was way more than just a friendship! I texted her immediately and said do you know that he is married still we're trying to work on things what is going on between the two of you?
I then immediately tried to call her back and she would not answer... chicken...
My husband saw that I was holding his phone and started trying to grab it and said what ....what are you doing who you calling who are you calling I said you're Granger girl as that was his nickname for her and he was becoming increasingly angry about me trying to call her like protecting her not caring at all about my feelings or my hurt my pain! I said why didn't you tell me this whole time that it was somebody else I've been beating myself up over this and you couldn't even tell me why why and he proceeded to tell me we are just friends we kidding around..
I told him that's not appropriate kidding around for a married man and I knew by the way he was interacting via text there was way more to the story I knew and know how my husband is and he definitely definitely had feelings very strong feelings for this other woman! To this day 2&a half years later he will still not come clean will not tell me why he left keeps on coming back into my life and then he'll be gone again for months I no longer will be intimate with him but it just feels like everytime he comes into my life again when he leaves it feels like he just left yesterday! I have got to stop the madness I've held in a long time like you to keep the peace but my kids have told me you allow him to walk all over you you don't stand up for yourself how do you expect us to respect you if you don't even respect yourself! Keep on talking god bless

Peace be with you!