Hello I'm glad you have found PC. You will find a lot of support here and lots of helpful information. I too have been going through a seriously deep and dark depression due to things that have happened in my life. The one thing I can tell you is that it is not your fault. You didn't choose your parents. What they did to you was horrible and you will never forget what happened. But you can learn to live. Please know that there are many of us here at PC fighting the exact same battle like you. Please never give up and please continue posting and seeking PC support. Hang in there!