Hey Jax,
I've thought before that you seem quite a lot like me (poor you ...)... I do think that is at least partly why most of my relationships that went wrong did so :.... certain things trigger me.... I'm sure you know what I mean and then I regret what has happened when its too late (sigh). ....although there is always the "other person" and their issues too, don't put all the "blame" on yourself....and I've found that continually beating myself up doesn't help forward progress, quite the opposite

I'm not sure I can give you good advice re. learning to forgive although I'm also working on this.....I haven't completely forgiven my parents (for example) although I'm further along the road than I was.....

I'll get back to you,

Take care,
Fuzzy