I've experienced the same thing as you. Multiple hospitalizations in early 90s, ECT leading to SSDI and half-way house, presently on SSDI (since 2004). I grew up middle-class and had everything and had college paid for. Onset of illness was at 14 and since then have failed at everything. My father supplements my SSDI (or else I would be homeless) and I rarely buy clothes or big things. My dream was always to make music and occasionally I want to put money into nice stereo equipment or a guitar. I don't want anything else.

I don't want what everyone else wants. The media totally puts the wrong material desires, standards and values into peoples' heads and no one challenges it (not even the Religious Right Wing which surprises me). I think we're put here to be one with nature and each other, not to strive towards fancy cars, TVs, gadgets, etc. I think there are people in economically poor places that probably have richer lives than lots of Americans.