So I have had some weird feelings lately about depression and just wanted to hear other's take on it. Despite losing a Dad and brother to cancer, despite having a mother with leukemia, despite having a lovely wife who has fought metastatic cancer for many years...there are days when I wish I had cancer. Or maybe had a heartattack. This is not any kind of a cry for help. I DEFINITELY don't want to die. Just maybe hospitalized for a while. Something that my coworkers would understand. Something my boss would cut me slack for. Something that would (in my work field) allow me to just stop...for a while. Something that would stick in people's heads and make them take pause before they pushed me harder at work. Something that would just allow my world to slow down. Something that my friends could rally behind.

Considering how much time I've spent in hospitals seeing a loved one and how many times I've prayed for someone I love to get better, this seems odd. Yet, it's how I feel.

So there it is. I finally wrote it down. I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy...just a break to get better