can you distract yourself with other things? create new hobbies? if its been so long i would plead to myself to not go back down the same roads! and to me relapse is like when you just give up and go to the fullest of your cravings, be it whatever it may? if you are in control its a differnt story... but we know how that goes.. you have achieved such a great feat by being sober for so long in my eyes, i envy you and congratulate you!

1. To fall or slide back into a former state.
2. To regress after partial recovery from illness.
3. To slip back into bad ways
relapse - definition of relapse by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.