It has been awhile yet again, I thought I had found a site where I could be safe and thought I had made some friends.. I know some of them truly care about me others I am not so sure about..

Lately I have been battling much since our Ice strom on Jan 12th and we almost lost everything.. I do not recall if I came on and told any of you about this.. but it was bad, we still hve enough tree limbs in our back yard to make the biggest bonfire in the state We were with out power those 14 days and I hated it as I had to stay in a hotel room with my childern and not have much to do.. My kids were great they got to watch cable as we cant afford it at home..

I had some bad deperessive eposides then, and I really had no one to chat with, that understod me and what I was going through ever since then I hve gotten worse yet again.

I had been doing really well, I had not cut myself in 13 years and I started again when we were in the hotel, the stress of being out of my home got to me badly and at times I did not think I would make it to the next day.

these last few weeks have been very hard on me and my family. as no one has extra money to give us to help us pay for the things we had to fix, or eating out stragit for 2 weeks.. we lost all of our extra money we had saved for our credit cards to pay them off, and our income taxes now is not going to be enough to help..

My mood right now is so dark, all I see is ppl staring at me saying ooohhh look at that unclean person look at that person with the bandages on her arms, I wonder what she did to deserve that.

it scares me that I realy cant confide in ppl as it gets used against me...
I am not even sure what i am writing about as i am rambling but i have to try to find somehwer I can talk about this or i could do something worse.

oh I dont know, maybe I shoudl stop