I asked my current T (who was my former T's office-mate) if she could ask him if he would be willing to have a brief phone call or session so I could have some closure. He did come in for a partial session while I was with the new T, and the three of us had some time together. It was very hard, and I'm sure it was difficult for him, as well. I gave him a card that said, "What can I say to someone who has done so much for me, who means so much to me, and who holds such a special place in my heart?" On the inside, it said, "All I can think of is thank you, thank you, and thank you again." I signed it with "Love and prayers". I miss him so much.

I think the hardest part was the abruptness of the loss. I had an appointment scheduled for a Thursday, and the day before my appointment, the receptionist called and left a message, telling me he wouldn't be in the rest of the week and had to cancel, and also had to cancel for the following week. When I called her back, I asked if it had anything to do with his health, and she said she wasn't at liberty to say. At that moment, I felt lost, hurt, abandoned, scared, cut off. It was the first time I felt that he had really let me down. It was hard to be so mad at him and miss him so terribly all at the same time. Now, I just miss him.