i feel like i have a semi-similar situation...except the person isnt my boyfriend...and has no desire to be. in the same token, whenever i have tried to detach from him (which i have tried a few times), he always comes back and i have trouble saying "no" because there's a piece of me that thinks that maybe this time he'll actually WANT me. then there are the times where i text and text and text and hope he'll respond, but he never does...he just ignores me and acts as if i dont exist...but as soon as *I* decide to stop contacting him...he starts contacting me and wants to talk nice and blah blah. it's purely a sexual relationship...i want more...he doesnt...i cant seem to get over that fact... it's hard for me to be strong with him. i have gotten through a full month + without talking to him when i am in my "strong" mode, but then he usually comes back in and i just lose it. i'm so weak with him and i think he knows it...maybe he gets off on it? i dont know. i just wish i knew how to be more in control. i absolutely know it's unhealthy, but i feel like i have no other options. i feel like i'm alone and unwanted, so i keep him around to compensate for not having anyone else. the fact that he even wants me sexually gets me too excited...and then when the sex is done and i go back home, i just cry and feel like a loser. in the moment it feels good and i feel wanted and when we're together he speaks to me like a normal person, tells me about his life/goings on and asks me about mine...he even treats me to dinner sometimes...but i know it's all just a fluke....and i know he does it because i allow him to...but what else is there for me?

i just dont have the tools to deal with this.

danica, i wish you all the very best and hope that you can break from this dependency. ...i'm sorry i hijacked your thread...i just felt a little connected to some of your words. i feel lame telling you to have hope when right now i dont have much of it myself...but i dont wish for you to feel the way i do. ((squeezes love into you))