i know exactly what you mean mouse. its really really excruciating emotionally for me. so powerful it becomes a physical discomfort. and its just because she s looking at me or asking me questions or listening to me or thinking about me and it totally freaks me out. i spend half the sessions recently trying to avoid panic attacks and totally crumbling and i dont even know if thats the right thing to do or if that means im sabotaging therapy and annoying her.
the only thing i can say to you is what she says to me. try to stop focusing on her and what she might be thinking or feeling and focus on what im thinking or feeling. she says shes just sharing the moment with me and not thinking anything so i am trying my hardest to trust that. its not really happening though.
this week im going to try to focus on my own stuff and write some more out so i have something concrete i want to work on in the next session and i can try to focus on untangling that puzzle instead of on her. i dont know if its going to work though since we re dealing with stuff thats bringing up so many emotions and i cant really handle having emotions in the same room as someone else.
not sure if all that made sense. just wanted to let you know i really really get it and it struck me to hear you say exactly what im feeling.
let me know if you figure out anything on this.
take care
biiv