Hi Helpme,
I see a lot of people have given you some good advice already. I can understand having intrusive thoughts. They get so overwhelming sometimes I can't even take it. Cognitive therapy can help. You can work on it with someone if its hard for you to motivate yourself. I also found that getting that obsessive energy out while running or exercising helps also. Also, try slowing your thoughts down so they are more manageable and less overwhelming. Take things slow and one step at a time. I think that it would be good to talk to a doctor and see what resources you can tap into in your community. I go to a therapist that only charges me $10 per session. Maybe going to support groups can help you too.