I have been going through more crap than usual and I don't know if I can handle it. (Abuse, flashbacks, voices in my head, insomnia, terrors, panic attacks, r*p* memories, and much much more)

I haven't SIed in 4 or 5 months but it's getting hard

(When I SIed before I would recut my scars so I wouldn't have so many) and so...
I recently had arm surgery and I have a huge scar. And I've been having urges to cut. I really want to cut on my surgery scar but that is VERY VERY bad because I would hit the metal plate in my arm and that would be bad... But I REEEALLY want to cut on it.

What should I do?
Nothing that is supposed to help you cope works for me.

I'm starting to panic and I don't know what I'm supposed to do!