The one thing I have learned from life & from therapy is that the bottom line is RADICAL ACCEPTANCE. Things are what they are & we just have to accept them for what they are.....a skill we needed to start learning from the time we were children but given life's circumstances....it usually wasn't possible as the parents if we had them were usually more messed up in the first place otherwise learning how to deal with the things that life throws us would have been a natural process. I think there are a few lucky people in this world who had unbroken childhoods.

This is what I have learned through the DBT that I have gone through over the last 3 years along with other worthwhile skills. Learned that the neuropathways our brains built while growing up can be reprogrammed with lots of practice & hard work if we want them to.

Also understanding that the yellow brick road that leads back to yourself as the prize is a wonderful prize....but it takes learning how to self-validate to be able to see just what a valuable prize we are to ourselves....a lot more valuable than the original parents we wish we had had. We can learn how to take care of ourselves much better than some outsider (even if that outsider is our actual parent) because in reality as we are older....no one CAN know us better than ourselves if we are willing to get to know ourselves.

Just as children learn while growing up, we are able to learn new ways after we have grown up (just as strokes & brain injuries victims learn all over again). I know it's a lot harder to do when we are older because we are more aware of the work it takes & the length of time......but knowing it's possible & wanting to live a more healthy life.....it does all come down to our radically accepting life as it is & radically accepting the work that we have to do to make it work. Not easy....but the gains in the end are seriously worth it.

Just some thoughts I've had to work through with my therapy & the experiences I've had....knowing that each of us is unique