I don´t know much about ECT but I know what not remembering things in your life does to a person. I myself - as many on PC, i´m sure - have suffered a trauma in my childhood.

When I was 6 years old, I was severy bullied at school by the teachers. Everything I know about the year that i was six has been told by others. I literally remember walking into the classroom once and the teacher´s gaze on me. Nothing else from the whole year. Nothing from the lessons. Nothing of my friends or family.

There were these reports, says my mother, every week the teachers had a meeting with Mom, showing her reports about how i had called the teacher names and hurt other kids and that i was unteachable. According to my mother i went home every day hungry because i hadn´t been allowed to eat any lunch. The teachers told my mother that it was a punishment. My mother told them it was neglect of a child. My mother eventually took me to some behavioral test, similar to what the school psychologist had done before and diagnosed me mentally retarded. The second test in a different environment reported that i was a very normail 6-year-old girl.

It bothers me often, the fact that i don´t remember. The school wrote no official reports about my behavior or the situation even though my mother asked them to repeatetly. If i was actually hurt by the teachers somehow remembering might be painful, but not knowing what story is the real one makes me crazy. Was i a mentally unbalanced child, crazy and trying to attack and abuse the teachers, or was the school staff incompetent? Sometimes i feel that i could endure every pain in the world if i just remembered. Then i wouldn´t have to hate myself what what i may have done to innocent people, who were only trying to their job.