I think my worst invalidation was after I caught the home care person on the phone using my mother's ID it think to try & get a credit card in her name (had to fight to get the phone away from her).....& the phone went dead as I was walking back into the bedroom I was staying in. (this was when whole lot of scary stuff was going on & I was trying to figure out what all was happening).

After she left the house I went & looked at the base phone chord & it had been cut & the scissors were right there by the phone.....when she came back to the house I ran down to the neighbor's house to have a witness & his comment was that the cat had broken the phone chord......a little later when my husband came down to my mother's home.....I told him what had happened & he looked at me like I was crazy.....later he commented that he was trying to make sense out of it because things like that just don't happen to people like my mother who are basically lower class (even though her home was completely paid for).

Oh yes....a few months after that, I was going to therapy with a T I had seen years before because the T I was seeing had back surgery during the time I was going through the trauma......she compared what I went through with a bottle of wine that had been taken from her grandmother's house when she had someone come in to take care of her house when she was elderly. .....there was no way of comparing the trauma I went through with a bottle of wine being taken from someone's home......talk about feeling invalidated.....& angry!!!!!

I made major changes 6 years ago.....I left him & moved 2100 miles away after my mother died of cancer (right after the incident I talked about above). It took me a couple of years to get healthy enough after going through that trauma & the anorexia that hit me with the trauma......but I finally got out of the marriage.....NEVER TO GO BACK!!!!!!