It can be very difficult feeling trapped, especially when your thinking is black/white and all/nothing.

I wish you the best of luck with it. When you're willing to start takign chances more than likely you will find opportunities waiting for you. I dont' want to overwhelm you when you're not ready to make big changes. None of the suggestions I made would be immediate fast fixes, as I feel like you were hoping for. None of the good ones ever are. They are changes that you work up to, bit by bit. You can't make big changes unless you are willing to let yourself be a beginner at something. Being a beginner means that things don't work well right away, they are difficult, and you just keep trying. If you think of a baby learning to walk, it takes a long time before they can do it without falling, but they pick themselves up each time. It's like that when you're learning healthy coping skills. You try, it's difficult. It slowly become easier and one day you're up and walking without looking back. It's a process, as everything in life is.

Again, good luck with things.
IJ