Thank you all so much for being so supportive. I really appreciate knowing that there are several people I can talk to.

As for my unhappiness, I just always feel lonely and unfulfilled. I've always had one passion and I no longer enjoy it or have any desire to work at it anymore. I don't really enjoy anything. I have very few true friends and I tend to assume people don't like me. At college, my closest friend will pretty much be whatever guy I'm hooking up with that month. Normally these guys don't really treat me with respect the way I imagine things should be.

As far as self esteem, I always wonder... I do demonstrate a lot of behaviors that would be consistent with self esteem issues like this and the fact that I used to self harm, but I think I'm pretty... I guess more of my insecurities come from who I perceive myself to be as a person? I guess I always figured that because I'm pleased with my appearance (despite my scars from sh) that I couldn't really have a self esteem problem.