They're a lot of people here that own guns, shoot and hunt. It's not anything to do with bipolar. If you want to hurt your self you'll find a way. You said your friend knows about your bipolar but does he know about it or hos it affects you. Before you give up on a 20 year friendship talk to him about how every time you're around a gun you want to end yourself. He deserves an explanation and the ability to be there for you. It doesn't mean he can't do that just you won't be there.