Darling, did you read the blog on the homepage, "It's OK not to know what to do." So many times in my life I have come down so hard on myself. When I was much younger, i envisioned myself as being a success "someday". Well, I never got to finish college. But, I finally decided to be ok about that. I have a lot of difficulty making decisions. I ruminate for ages before making a decision. It's hard being depressed. It feels like you are being sucked down a hole. Practice self care. Get enough sleep. Try to get a little exercise daily. Blessings to you.