thank you all.
I do apperciate all the words.

That is one of the main reasons I came back here as so I would not start cutting again.

I had went almost 13 years with out it.. and I feel so far and so hard off the wagon I am not sure I want to go back on it.

as it did feel good, but it hurt my husband .. To see the pain in his eyes when he found the scar, I almost died on the inside