Quote:
Originally Posted by gon3withth3wend
Thank you all so much for being so supportive. I really appreciate knowing that there are several people I can talk to.
As for my unhappiness, I just always feel lonely and unfulfilled. I've always had one passion and I no longer enjoy it or have any desire to work at it anymore. I don't really enjoy anything. I have very few true friends and I tend to assume people don't like me. At college, my closest friend will pretty much be whatever guy I'm hooking up with that month. Normally these guys don't really treat me with respect the way I imagine things should be.
As far as self esteem, I always wonder... I do demonstrate a lot of behaviors that would be consistent with self esteem issues like this and the fact that I used to self harm, but I think I'm pretty... I guess more of my insecurities come from who I perceive myself to be as a person? I guess I always figured that because I'm pleased with my appearance (despite my scars from sh) that I couldn't really have a self esteem problem.
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Well, self esteem encompasses a lot more than just physical appearance. Your self esteem entails everything you feel about yourself as a person, be it appearance, personality, or any other facet of what makes you you.
If you think your insecurities come from your own self perception, I'd wager that's more than likely the cause.
That said, working on your self perception can help you greatly.
Your self esteem is a hugely important part in your overall mental and emotional health. I can almost guarantee that your school therapist would be able to help you in that regard.
Outside of that, try to make some friends that respect you for you.
If you feel like these boys don't respect you, then I would submit to you that they simply aren't worth your time. You deserve to be treated with respect...that's a simple basic human courtesy. Having a bit of a support network will prove to be beneficial. And finding something to replace that passion of yours (or, perhaps better, reigniting the spark in that passion) could be helpful...what was it that ended your enjoyment for whatever passion that was? Burnout, perhaps? You might find it enjoyable again after a break from it.
I hope I was of some help.
My PM offer still, of course, stands.
I'll do everything I can to respond in a timely manner if you decide to take me up. With work for the next few days, my attendance here will be a little spotty, but I'll be checking in as I can. Yay smartphones.
Many hugs,
Harley