I come from a very similar background and lived in it for 33.5 years.

Whether you feel you can make it on your own or not, the only way to escape it is to just go.

That's what I finally did 20 years ago. Had I not, I most likely wouldn't even be here today.

I severed all contact, legally changed my name and moved away.

Except for one attempt to reconnect with a sister (which ended with her betraying my trust), I now have absolutely NO CONTACT with anyone from my past whatsoever.

It hasn't been easy, but with good therapy and a strong will to survive, I'm still here and doing pretty darn good in spite of it all.

It's a shame your mother chooses to protect your abuser instead of you, and I'm sorry you've had to endure this for so long.

I hope you're able to get away before too much longer because the longer you stay in it the more damaging it will be.

There's nothing like walking through that door at the end of the day and having no unpleasant surprises waiting on the other side.

I wish you the best!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!