thanks guys. it's kind of comforting to know i'm not the only one even though i don't wish it on any of you but you know what i mean. i'm seeing my cpn on 3rd jan (no-ones around until the 2nd) but it just seems so far away at the moment.

i don't know what to do other than get on with it best as possible - get in to work, carry on as normal etc. put on the act for the rest of the world - and hope for it to pass.

what if it doesn't pass though? what if this is the one i don't come back from and i spend the rest of my life depressed? that scares me everytime. but i guess it's only been a couple weeks so its hard to tell. wish there was a way of knowing.
guess i'm just rambling now.
i just don't know.