I don't find it ironic . It might be an assumption, but every person I've met with BPD has actually been really intelligent. We just are so overwhelmed with our own thoughts and feelings, we don't do very well following our own logic.

And that's actually my issue with my T. I know she's human. I actually completely understood her canceling our session. I even tried my best to stay strong for her so she didn't have to worry about me on top of her own problems. But I couldn't keep up that strength. The pain became too great especially when she missed the phone call and didn't even seem to remember she told me she would call. So here I have one part of me that cares deeply about my T, doesn't want her to hurt, and wants to actually be supportive of her. The other part of me is in so much pain. My T is the person who I'm supposed to talk with in situations like this, but telling her how I feel makes me feel like I'm being inconsiderate to her. I feel completely stuck. Which is why I wrote her such a long e-mail. I was completely honest with her. I have never been in this position. I don't know what's appropriate and what's not. I'm trying to be understanding of her situation while also trying not to let myself breakdown completely. It's such a fine line to walk...