I apologize if I came off as not caring. I'm not mad at my T. I know she cares. She knows I care. I am trying to balance both her needs and my own. She actually responded that she's not mad at my e-mails either. I am more than grateful to have her in my life. 3 months ago, I was literally ready to end my life. I spent 6 yrs locked in my house. It basically took a family emergency of my own and the cops being called on me to get me out of my house. I found my T on accident. I'm so lucky to have found her. I have stayed out of the hospital since having her in my life. I know I "should not" depend on my T. But that's part of the reason I'm in therapy. And I do know what's it's like to have a T who doesn't care. My current T is my 8th T. I am not a novice when it comes to the mental health field at all. It's one of the things that my T likes about me.

But I do not choose to suffer with what I'm suffering with. I do not want this disorder. The pain I inflict on myself and on others sucks. I truly love the people in my life. I would do almost anything for them. I am trying my best to work on my issues. That is why my T and I have a deal in place that we are both 100% open and honest with each other. And I have been, even down to the ugly truths.

I'm sorry Elektra if I came off mean, mad, or disrespectful. From your response, I would infer that you're struggling with something right now too. Least know you're not alone and people do care