Hello Jinnyann. You are more than welcome to PM me anythime if you want to have a serious discussion. I understand how you feel, and you are more than welcome to share anything you would like ot in PM. I also want to give you a hotline number to call as well that may be able to help when you are alone at night with your confusion and pain. 1-800-273-TALK (for mental health issues). you may call this hotline 24/7 if you are lonely and need someone to talk to in person. Take care soidhonia