My kids are my life. I have been making attempts to find me time and maintain balance, I'm getting better at that. My question is, and I realize it may sound ridiculous, is sometimes I just don't know how to handle them. 1, 5 and 10, all at very differnt dev stages, that alone has me feeling like someone gets left out. Mom guilt, is like a poisonous sludge that finds a way to creep into each of my days! I fight it, but I often feel defeated. Ok that is all very vague. Here is a solid example of my struggles. Most of my struggles at this point are with my son. He needs constant stimulation....."whos ganna play with me" "where are we going" "whats next" and when I do sit to play with him I am at fault a bit because I haaaaate pretend play and he wants to dictate how we play, every part of it, and when I pick a game or way to interact he doesn't want to play anymore. Often I have to repeat myself to get him to follow through on anything. Its beyond frustrating. I think a more structured day would help. The problem is I don't have a healthy model to draw from. I don't remember my parents really ever sitting down to "play" with me. I see a pattern and it makes me so fuming mad. Its where the adults have no time or patients for the kids and the kids feel unworthy and unwanted. Developing to their full potential is comprimised. I am soooo afraid of that. SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO PARENT! Its funny but its not. Seriously though, Im petrified of screwing it all up. HELP.