I'm struggling right now....my pain specialist closed his practice & now I have to find a new pain specialist...the medication I've been on since 2003 is at a high dose....but it's been working wonderfully & I have no migrine headaches when I'm not under stress.....I have enough patches to make it to the end of Feb......but the first pain specialist I saw last week refused to prescribe the medication dose I'm on (he afraid of his licence I"m sure.....& being investigated.....but I've been going to the one that closed for 6 years & never caused him any investigation......I handle the dose of medication as if it were a much lower dose.....but this stress in getting to me & I don't feel like eating.....& the migraines are hitting almost constantly.....I am pushing the patches longer than the 72 hours to try & make it last longer if I have to continue looking for a new pain specialist after I see another one on Jan 15.......I am so stressed & have anxiety attacks, sick to my stomach & migraines which my med really does counter when I'm not so stressed. I just want to curl up in a ball & disappear & not deal with this.....there are other issues that this causes dealing with insurance issues & medicare & part D vs patient assistance coverage & I'm so messed up, my world feels like it's whirling in a huge tornado & I can't focus on anything....& eating is the last thing I care about doing even though I know I need the nutrition to function & to make reasonable decisions.......I am so angry, frustrated.....& every other negative emotion I can think of.

I bought 3 pieces of lamb for Christmas dinner because I knew I would be having Christmas alone with my eskies.......well, I finaly cooked them Saturday morning for breakfast......they were wonderful tasting I did them with shitaki mushrooms in a balsamic reduction........I savored all 3 of them for about an hour or enjoying the flavor......I seriously needed to take a break from all this stress that I"m dealing with.....I haven't even bothered to deal with all the other stressful things in my life right now.....I can only deal with very little at a time & this is HUGE!!!!