Believe it or not, you are still very young. I was a wreck at your age, and I mean a suicide attempt at least once a month wreck. It took forever for my parents to notice, I'd hide botched attempts, and by the time they did, and forced me to go see a therapist, I thought, why bother?

It may not be you as far as the meds not working. Psychiatrists are like any other Dr.s. They are human and can make mistakes. Its possible that you have not been correctly diagnosed, or the medication is not the right one. There are so many medications and not everyone responds to them the same way. Not every therapist gets along with every patient.

Unfortunately, the time when you most need a therapist and be able to analyze how the relationship and meds are working, is the time when you are least able to be analytic. Some people find it helps to keep a diary, even if its just train of thought.

I'm not making light of your situation. Its not a period of my life I am likely to forget, and I know how miserable and hopeless you feel. Things do change though. You gain experience, are exposed to different things and your mind changes as you get older. Right now it probably seems like every week is a year and a long one at that. If you have a good relationship with your therapist, talk to him/her about changing your meds. If you don't have a good relationship, seriously think about finding a new therapist. For therapy to work, you have to trust the person and feel comfortable opening up to them. A bad relationship just wastes time.

Most of all, don't give up on yourself. You have a lot of time left in your life, and it doesn't have to be all bad. There may be emotional scars and some difficulties left over, but you can still have a productive life. A girl I went through school with developed severe bipolar in her sophomore year of highschool. She jumped out a window, had a psychotic break and was out of school for months. Now she has a wonderful marriage, two kids and seems settled. Keep trying. You can do it.

Sam2