who am I? who do I want T to think I am? does letting her share me in a shared moment threaten who I think I am? will she like me if she really knows me? but how she experiences me is for her to feel and totally out of my power? Is it time to put down the wall and risk allowing another to have their own experience of me? am I afraid to experience myself? yes I think so! I feel my own space up with words. The anxiety level is to high for me to just "be". The fear that evil in me will consume me. The evil eye. Is it the fact that I am being made to experience myself when the silence hits? Is it not fear of how T experiences me but more that I can't bear to be in my own skin? The time is coming to end for words. The time is coming for silence.