I am good now. Hitting rock bottom like I did on Friday has had an affect on me. There's been a subtle shift in my perceptions and I feel stronger and a bit more capable than i have felt in a long time.

My life is just not only undergoing radical changes but my 'reality' is shifting dramatically also. I've been feeling unstable and unsafe for quite awhile - in a psychological way. My emotions have been topsy-turvy and it's been a long tough haul.

I was seeking oblivion, I think, with the alcohol - an escape. Thank goodness it didn't work otherwise I might just have traveled the path to alcoholism.

Also, with frontal cortex 'offline', I had hoped I'd get an insight into my deepest emotions and would then be able to tackle them better.

Yep - oblivion AND insight desired. My goodness - not asking for much, was I?

Instead, just a sick feeling - no oblivion, no insights. Not even a pleasant 'buzz' that I hear so much about.