4 months, it's been 4 months and still the same.
I can not move on and stop thinking about my past, it's been 4 months and I can't! I feel stupid complaining because other people here have much more serious problems than me, but it's been so long and I am so tired of loving and thinking of him.
I always distract myself and im trying to be a better person but I notice that when I do it, it seems like I am doing it so HE would know that I AM good, that I am not bad and on some level I even want to be better than his next girlfriend/love, it is so sick and crazy.. No matter what I do it feels like I cant win, that I am nothing and I have nothing and he was right that he left me. I can't pull myself together, I can't start studying or find a hobby, I lost my confidence and ambitious, I am losing desire to try things and do things and achieve things.. I'm losing passion for life. Nothing makes me happy anymore even tho i am forcing myself to be around people and be out, once I come back home - I am back to the square 1 where I am miserable and I want to cry for hours.

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