Better communication thread:

There is a lot of good communicatiion going on about what causes and how to block upsetting posts. Clearly several people have been frustrated and have ideas about how to do it differently. I don't have the experience to add much to that discussion but I may have some ideas--maybe naive--about other ways to reduce strain among earnest communicators.

I want to commend alexandra k for her ideas (she credits alcohol (:-) but I think she may just be an other experienced and clever person. She asks us: "suppose posters could discuss their hurts and explore where their sensitive feelings are coming from." In other words, she is asking if we can turn these stressful interactions into learning experiences. I'll vote for that!

There are very important skills taught and sometimes used by therapists which might contribute mightly to the kinds of discussion we want to have. Many skills are explained in detail in my Chapter 13. Therapists constantly use "listening and empathy responses" to find out what the other person means and what is going on inside another person. "I messages" are important when trying to communicate sensitive information. There are other ways to express anger constructively. Conflicts can be resolved. These are skills you can learn and take into all relationships.

I'm sure this able group could help each other to moderate many of their differences without putting the devoted moderators out of business. My self-assigned task is to give psychology away. If I can help any of you learn some simple effective communication skills, please let us talk about it on the Sharing Self-Help Ideas forum.

This is not to divert attention away from moderating. It is just another idea.

drclay