Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
Why can't I just have had a normal life with parents who maybe weren't 100% perfect and had their faults, but at least they never beat me or raped me? Why did all of this even happen? I logically know it was just a random unfortunate coincidence but emotionally I don't get it. I shouldn't have be scared to be around my parents. They were supposed to take that fear away, but inject it in me.
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I understand every bit of this. I've also come to understand that the answer is "because things are this way."
There is nothing right now that you can do to change it. SO. You can fight it every step of the way and be exhausted and miserable, or you can accept it, roll with it, and know that it will end.
There might even be a nugget of enjoyment in there for you somewhere.
I'm not saying embrace your abusers or lavish your father with affection. What I'm saying is look for the good in the situation. You've already been quite creative and resourceful.
Accept where you are as temporary, make the best of it, and, when you can, take the steps you need to prevent it from happening again.
It's fighting this misery that is making you miserable. Acknowledge it then move with it.
It's a big deal, I hear you. It's also doable.