OK, from what I've gathered reading here and your other posts- no way it's a good idea to just not show up- he already thinks you're SUI and could take further action (police, calls, visits ect.) should you do so. If you want to cancel just send him a polite mail saying you won't be coming and that you are OK and you'll see him on XY (next appointment).
I would give the DBT group a go- it's not only for BPD, I think, and meeting other ppl could be good for you (It would be great if you could get a job instead but obviously you're not ready yet).
I notice that you're quite ambivalent re him- his contacting you is bothering you but same goes for him not replying? You want to cut sessions with him yet you don't want to take the other options he's offering (this making you less dependent on him)? His flirtations behavior... I think you should think long and hard what YOU really want from him.

Can I ask how long you're in therapy with him- is it really 10 yr?